Schadenfreude

LAZY ME

Monday, November 17, 2008, 10:24 PM

(OMG, I forgot to post this up!!! Haiyo... the title says it all... i'm LAZY :D)

I'm lazy to post up pics of yesterday since their so many of them. I'll just do them tmr....

Anyways, I think i'm the only pro-death in the entire zoo.

No it doesn't involve the white tigers... but a subject that disgusts the hell outta me.

I'm talking about BUGS. Or insects or any slimy creature for that matter. No it is not CUTE/ADORABLE OR WHATEVER SHIT. Hello?!?!? this is NOT a bug's life where insects are cuddly and cute. They BITE and they carry VENOM. Like bees?!?! MOTHERFUCKING BEES CAN KILL YOU. And they are cute?!?!?! Yeah, look how cute it is when they lay that little sucker on you and you die from lack of oxygen then i'll exclaim loudly "WHAAA SO CUTE!!!"

Like or not??

YAR, anyway this STUPID bug came into the ticket booth. YEah yeah, its smaller than me but so what??? My mum says why i'm so scared, well i'm not. I'm DISGUSTED. There's a difference. SO anyway, Gay shanker was with me disturbing me as usual when the bug crawled into MY DOMAIN. MY SPACE. So i took the paper with a book on top and smashed it hard down onto the bug until its remains were splattered all over the paper... I banged and smashed the paper on the bug as hard as i could until i was certain it was DEAD then i lifted the paper up to check. To my utmost statisfaction, it was truly dead. The remnants of the little itty bitty bug was spread across the paper. Of course now i have to clean the paper but that's besides the point. The point is that it was DEAD.

Then of course gay shanker had to comment why i was so bad to the bug and say i should let it live. LIKE HELL I SHOULD. EEEEEEWWWW. The buggy population is millions or billions more than people or mammals so why should he care that i killed ONE bug? Well, technically, since i've started to work at the zoo, i have killed more than one bug... YES. Bugs are dirty creatures. They crawl across garbage and whatnot. They eat animal poo and more and more and much more dirty shit could be said about them but i might throw up on my laptop and that will take FOREVER to clean. YES. That is why i'm so disgusted by them. Today alone i encounted so many insects that i wanna wash myself in acid. i encountered:

1) Mosquitoes
2) Millipede
3) 1 FUCKING HUMONGOUS SPIDER
4) A lizard (normal household one, not komodo type)
5) Miscellenious bugs (I can't know them all right?)

Gosh... even the encarta meaning of Millipede disgusts me to no end.

Millipede- many-legged arthropod: a small plant-eating arthropod with a tubular body made up of segments. Most segments have two pairs of legs.
Class: Diplopoda

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW. I had to throw that sucker out of the booth so i took a LONG piece of paper so it wouldn't touch me and FLUNG IT AS FAR AS I COULD.

As for the spider, i used a nice broom and SMASHED IT DOWN REPEATEDLY ONTO THE SPIDER BUT IT WON'T DIE.... WHA, i had to use the hard part and smash it down and SQUEEZE it until the thing stopped moving. Then i promptly swept it up and threw it out. The customers thought i was nuts.

Another thing was my friend melissa had this fascination with snails after i told her what salt did to them and she said she had never seen one near her house before. So when i spotted one snail she took the small cup from kfc you know the one where they put the mash potatoes or coleslaw in? And she KEPT THE SNAIL IN IT.

Can you say Ew with me? yeah ok.. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Gosh she is so weird. So i asked her...

Me:
So what are you gonna do with the snail?

Mel:
Dunno leh...

Me:
I know! Why not you pour salt all over it? Let it dissolve!

Mel:
EEEE! Why you so bad one?? No la, i'll keep it by my plant.

Me:
-__-'''. EW.

I mean, like com'on. I'm not a horrible person. I just hate bugs. I know they have their usefulness but STILL.... Some bugs are better left for dead. For example... MOSQUITOES. Name me something useful about them? COCKROACH. What good are they? Yeah i know spiders and lizards are damn useful and all but then again....... MY DOMAIN = NO INSECTS/REPTILES (Only house lizards and frogs. I'm fine with snakes and larger lizards).

Did i mention i once stepped on a full grown house lizard?? That fat bastard was right under my toe. It was early in the morning and i was preparing for sch.. that was back in sec school... I was still half asleep when i stepped on something cold and slimy and i didn't bother... i was brushing my teeth and i had a delayed reaction. When i realised i was stepping on something, i lifted my foot and OFF RAN THE LIZARD. I was momentarily stunned until I SCREAMED MY LUNGS OUT. I think the neighbours thought i was crazy. Later when i went down for breakfast my mother was asking me what happened and when i told her she LAUGHED...... Bloody hell.

Another fat bitch, the mosquito was in my room sucking my blood while i slept. FUCK. I kept trying to catch it but that stupid blood sucking bitch kept eluding me until one day i saw it. THE FATTEST ASS OF A MOSQUITO I'VE EVER SEEN FLYING AROUND WITH HER STOMACH FULL ON MY BLOOD. MY BLOOD. It was the MOST satisfying kill of my LIFE. I smacked her when tt thing landed on my hand and SPLAT. So much blood to clean but it felt GOOOD to kill it.

MUAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!

Hey, did i mention i hate bugs?
:D